Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Mean Median Mode

In my opinion, time is flying by too fast. I can't believe it's already April. According to the Aztec Calendar, we only have about 2 and a half years left. One thing I am extremely happy about it the warm weather. I loved the cold weather in New York, but that was because it was expected. In Southern California, you're supposed to be able to wear a t-shirt year round. I can't wait until this summer. I plan to try things I haven't ever done, or done in a looong time. I want to hike, surf and camp. In no particular order.

I just got back from Trader Joe's. I bought 3 bunches of beautiful tulips for $1.29 each! I think going to TJ's in the middle of the week when they first open is the best time to go. God, going to TJ's in New York was an absolute nightmare. It consistently was a 40 minute wait in line. The line wrapped around the entire store, so you couldn't even shop because the line was blocking access to the shelves. Today, I managed to have the willpower to put back the chocolate cereal. It's funny because when you're a kid and you go to the store with your parents, you beg and plead for junk food. Now that I have the complete power to buy what I want, I think I am pretty responsible.

I just finished a book last night called, The Dogs of Babel. It was really good, well-written, and sweetly depressing. In fact, I cried when I finished it. It made me feel a little lonely. It's weird how books can affect your emotions. I once read a book called, Under Observation by Amalie Skram. It was incredible, but the character was so crazy, it made me feel a little crazy. The Bell Jar did that to me too.

I have kind of been thinking about maybe I want to go to cosmetology school. I think it would be fun to do hair and it wouldn't be monotonous and I could be creative. Just working at hair salons has influenced me a bit. It's funny that I spent 5 years of my life toiling away for a fashion degree, but I just think that even when the economy picks up, people aren't going to spend money on clothes like they used to.

This past weekend I hung out with one of the Australian bands I had met a few weeks ago. They came back to LA for one more show before they went home. I went to their show and it was really good. We hung out all night. Bought some beers and went back to my place. Then on Sunday, they checked out of their hotel and we headed to Venice Beach for a few hours. We went back to my place to kill time before they went to the airport and we played boggle. I had the best time. Those guys are the nicest people I have met in a long time. They were so grateful for me showing them around a bit. It kind of sealed the deal that I want to take myself to Australia in September for my 25th birthday. I think I can pay for it with my tax return. I know I should use that for my credit card, but I have never traveled outside the US, except for a day in Canada and some short Mexico trips. I have about 10 different places I can stay when I go. I hope it works out.

Anyhow, I am off to work. Here are a few things I love
-My family. Thanks for the computer!!
-My cat
-Sheryl and Julie!!
-Sleeping in a freshly made bed. Even better when legs are freshly shaved.
-Sunglasses
-Driving with the windows down
-Coffee
-Cupcakes

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Between a rock and a hard place

I miss thom. There I said it. ugggh. I like him. We're attracted to each other on so many levels. Intellectually, comically, physically.... But I don't want to give up my single life. And he isn't ok with that. I understand that. I do. But we keep running into each other. The (sexual) tension and attraction is undeniable. Every time I have to walk away from him I feel a little void. Is there something wrong with me for not just throwing my single life to the way side and just going with it?? Because after finding out about Jeff dying, I am reminded again that life is so short and things can change in an instant. But then if I jump in head first and realize it's not what I want, there would be irreversible damage and I would hurt someone I really care for. I am caught in a crux, because I want him in my life, but we aren't very good at being "just friends". So therefore I can't have him in my life. wtf do i do?

Life is too damn precious and short

A very dear friend of mine passed away on Saturday night. Jeff was basically an uncle to me. I've known him since I was a child. He was an incredibly kind, selfless, and generous person. When my parents were fighting and going through their separation many years ago, he and his partner opened up their home to my mom, brother, and I to give us some sense of family and stability. It breaks my heart to think that I haven't seen him in a few years. Mostly due to the fact that I lived across the country for a while, but I have been back in So Cal for 10 months now.... and I don't really have an excuse. It just makes you stop and think about life. Cherish what you have. You're not too busy to pick up a phone and reach out to someone just to say hi.

On that note, this past weekend I had the most absurd falling out with a "friend". It's so trivial and childish and in the grand scheme of life, especially compared to the terrible news I received on Sunday morning about Jeff, I can't even fathom how some people can get so caught up in drama. So the guy, Jessie, that Julie and I met last week at the coffee shop and we went miniature golfing with is really cool. I am NOT romantically interested in the least and last I heard, neither was Julie. She said he's cute and nice, but he is too skinny, too short, he smokes, he needs to floss.... Anyhow, my friend S came to visit on Sunday to spend the night. I took her to meet Jessie and he asked what our plans were for the evening. I said I wanted to take S to my favorite bar and take pictures in the photobooth and eventually end the night dancing at the Shortstop. He invited us over to preparty and I said I would call him and try to meet up. Then I asked my good guy friend if he wanted to meet up and dance too. I specifically did not invite Julie out because I wanted to hang out with S. Haven't seen in her a few months.

Later when S and I are at Edendale, Julie sends me a message and says"I hear you're hanging out with Jessie tonight"
Me: Yeah, he invited Sheryl and I over for drinks then we are going to shortstop!
Julie:...Sweet deal
Good luck with that
Me: I don't get it. What does that mean?
Julie: Nothing, have a good night Michelle.
Me: Woah using my name. Are you mad??
Julie: Mad..not quite.
Me: Then what are you? Stop being passive aggressive
Julie: never mind, do what you do. have a good night
me: maybe I am misinterpreting you over text, but I feel like you are being pissy and I don't know why?
Me Just tell me why you seem upset. I am just hanging out with my friend that I haven't seen in 2 months.
Julie: Clearly. Please don't refer to me as "pissy"

At this point, I called the bitch because I am not about fighting over fucking text. Go figure she didn't answer, yet sent me a message 5 minutes later that said "you called?"
Me: listen, if you want to talk like adults, then call me. don't give me this passive aggressive bullshit over text.
Julie: hahaha
me: my point exactly
Julie: i haven't done or said anything. You have yourself a good time.

Am I crazy? No because I called our friend Lauren who said Julie called her and said, "Michelle is hanging out with Jessie and she didn't invite me. She knows I like him! Michelle is sneaky!"

Really? You like him? oh and you're mad I didn't invite you out? I have never met anyone so freakishly insecure and I am not ok with that. Julie is immature. She writes people off if they don't call her everyday or if they don't invite her somewhere. My closest friends, S and J go for weeks without talking. We have lives. We're busy. No hard feelings. We pick up where we left off. I can't believe that I called her several times to talk to her and she ignored my every call, yet messaged me the next day saying, "I'm not mad, don't worry".

Oh honey, I am not worried about you being mad a me. The really fucking funny thing is.. I didn't even see Jessie. It didn't work out and we never met up. So go fuck yourself you immature, unreasonable cunt.

I did see Thom though. Woe is me. We were drunk. We danced. I think one day I might marry him. And S is fucking hysterical. We had so much fun. I almost peed in my pants. Well, maybe I actually did a little.

RIP Jeff <3

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Kiss and tell and 6 degrees of separation

I typically don't care what people think of me, but when I stand in line at Walgreens to buy 20 jars of Gerber's Baby food for my cat ( she has a sensitive stomach and it's the only thing she wont puke all over my apartment) I can't help but feel a little awkward. I wonder if the cashier and other people in line look and me and think "god, she is so young. There goes her life." I do look 17 after all. Then again, it's Echo Park, so a teen looking girl buying baby food is probably a regular occurrence... Anyhow, god forbid a cute guy comes up behind me while I am buying baby food. There goes my chances. Even worse, if someone I've slept with in the past is behind me while I am buying baby food. I can only imagine what is going through their head as the cashier takes my 20 jars of baby food out of the basket and rings them up one by one. Then double bagging them in 4's.... I think I would just look over my should at them with a sheepish look on my face and leave them to ponder the possibilities.

Speaking of buying things at Walgreens, sometimes I like to think about about all the different combos of items I could buy that would puzzle or freak out the cashier. So far, my favorite is flavored condoms, red lipstick, and a jump rope...

So, I've had a busy few weeks. I have been babysitting for my boss. One of the owners of the salon. It's pretty easy and good money. There are 2 girls, 6 and 9. The 6 year old is craaazy, but goes to bed really early. Around 7:30. The 9 year is really smart and easy to talk to. Last week I was watching only the youngest one and my boss told me to come at 6. The little girl was in bed just before 9 and the parents didn't even leave until after 9. They came home around 2 am and I made $105 just to watch movies and nap. Easy breezy.
I've been kind of a loner lately. Kind of had a falling out of some sorts with my 2 girl friends here. I think 3 is a crowd. I am a very solitary person, but I like to hang out with different types of people too, so I had a period of time in January where I was dating a few guys and not hanging out with the girls everyday and they took offense to that. They said they felt I was losing my sense of self. It's quite the opposite because in fact, I've never felt so secure in myself in my life. I LOVE love love love living alone and being single. I have always wanted to date. Anyhow, my true friends (S and J) would never get mad at me for stupid shit like that. Thank you guys!!!

On Sunday, I went to this Australian BBQ and show at the Echo. I went alone and ended up meeting 3 bands, Red Riders, The Boat People, and Dappled Cities. We went out to eat, then to a house party, and then out to eat again. It was sooo much fun. It makes me want to move to Australia. Those accents.... Anyhow, one of the bands is coming back next weekend for another show right down the street from me. I am really excited to see them again! And I had texted BDB to come to the show, but he ignored me, so I am over it. Eh. oh well. I often run around the reservoir though and he lives across the street from it. I wonder if we'll see each other...

hmm. What else. Oh. Went to a St. Patty's day party. Thom was there. Go figure. We have the same friends... This is going to happen a lot. At least we're cordial. So was talking to my good friend's sister. The sister and I don't know each other but we were bonding over our single lives and I was mentioning to her the crazy day I had mentioned in an earlier post about being out with the skateboarder and running into or hearing from all the guys I've dated in the past 6 months... As I mention the skateboarders name, the girl says, "wait, C---T? Is he a skateboarder?? I hooked up with him too!!" Wow. wow. On a side note, while I was at the skateboarder's house, there was a picture of Thom with the skateboarder's roommate on the fridge!!!! oh.my.god. I need to move.

Work has been really slow, so on Thursday, they had me take the day off. I went ran some errands and met Julie at the coffee shop. We were sitting next to this really nice looking guy. I've seen him around before. anyhow, he asked me if I minded if he smoked near me and I thought it was really cool of him to ask. Julie and I ended up talking to him for a while and we all went miniature golfing. It was really random and really fun. Afterwards we met up with our friend Joshua and had dinner. So we have a new friend and he is pretty awesome. That's about it for now. Going out tonight for a bday thing for some friends and then S is coming to town tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Debauchery!!!!! If it's anything like the last time she came out, watch out Echo Park!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Interesting weekend, Sunday fun, and boy drama

On Friday night I went to see a band play. Ran into BDB. Kind of purposefully actually. Hadn't seen him since he got back from tour. Kind of anti-climatic... Made some tentative plans to get together and catch up. I am a little indifferent about it.

On Saturday, I went to my wonderful parent's house and they helped me out a ton as they always do when I am in a bind. I am so grateful for them. Got some much needed house supplies. On Saturday night went out with some friends from the salon and met a boy. He is a pro-skater. Really cute, but I have a feeling he is a huge player.... Not that I am upstanding right now, but I don't want to be just another conquest. Anyhow, we exchanged numbers...

Sunday turned out to be the best day ever! Met up with friends from the previous night for some late brunch. Ran into skate boarder again. Went paddle boating in the Echo Park Lake. It was a riot. I am in love with it. Went home for a bit and caught up with S. Then I took myself rollerskating because no one else would join. I love rollerskating. I feel like a total kid again. On Sundays they have adult night, 21 and over and the play soul music. After rollerskating, I met up with Josh, Julie, and Bean for some wine.

Now...onto the Dramzzzz

Yesterday god hated me a lot. He made it clear when all the people I have dated in the past 6 months either contacted me or I ran into them..It all started when JCH emailed me out of the blue. The boy I fell for right after breaking up with my ex, Flip. JCH was just such an emotionally unavailable douche bag. He asked if I deleted him off facebook and I said yes and he said why and I said this: "I did it for several reasons... I realize that even after all this time you cannot offer me even the minutest of friendships. I really liked you back then and you kinda hurt my feelings and totally threw me for a loop. So trying to catch up with you as friends is just as frustrating as trying to hang out with you when we were kinda dating. Rather than put my feelings through that yo yo again I would just prefer to not think about you period."

His response.... "you can't just go around deleting people.
it doesn't work like that..."

Not one reference to me pouring out my heart. Further solidified why I will forever despise him. Then, Skater guy asked me out for drinks...This is where it gets good. At a random whole in the wall bar with Skater boy and ran into my ex, Flip. Ha. What the fuck is he doing in this neighborhood? Especially when Flip is supposed to be sober...Then BDB texted me and asked what I was doing that night. As skater boy and I were leaving the bar, I ran into Thom, whom I briefly dated but there was a huge imbalance of feelings because I just want to be single and he just wanted me. That was kind of awkward because we had decided a few days prior to not talk. Anyhow, after that he sent me a barrage mean of texts. Not sure if we're ever going to talk again...

Monday, February 16, 2009

V-day weekend happenings and Small world stuff

This past weekend I flew to San Francisco for the sole purpose of attending the annual Valentine's Day Pillow Fight.. And to hang with my brother and best friend, J.
I got in Friday morning and had breakfast with my brother. I took care of some graduation stuff. Ugh a year and a half later, I still haven't received my diploma. It was because after I moved to NY, I found out I was 3 units short. So I took an online class, but by the time I got my transcripts, I had missed the next graduation filing deadline. Then I forgot about the next one...So this trip was actually perfect timing, because this weekend was the last weekend I could file for Spring 09 graduation. I had to go to my old sewing classroom to get my professor to sign my application. She was none too happy to see me. She started losing her marbles during my last semester so I am going to try and not take it too personal. It was such a trip walking around that campus.

Friday night involved meeting up with J and having a few drinks at her apartment and catching up. God, I love her. It was so nice to talk in person. The great thing about us is that no matter how much time goes without talking, we always pick up where we left off and there are no hard feelings. We took a cab and met up with my brother and his girlfriend at a Salsa bar. Saw some great old friends and I manage to spill my drink all over my lap. J and I decided to take a cab back to her neighborhood and an crazy night ensued. Lots of sake shots and the bartender inviting me behind the bar for a picture. I took it upon myself to pour myself a pint. After some random hilarity, we walked to her place and crashed.

Saturday...oh Saturday. Bro, his gf and I got some yum salad at Plutos. If you know me, I hate salad, so that is a big statement from me. We made our way to the Barelywine festival at Tornado. Boy oh Boy. At $2 a pop and 10 to 15% alcohol content, I was well on my way to drunk by 6. Sucks because I totally missed the Pillow fight. Luckily there was a guy at the bar across the street in possession of 2 pillows, so we fought each other. Around 12 I headed home and had a dance party with bro and girlfriend. Sunday involved getting gifts for my girls back home and eating pizza and having my flight delayed over 2 hours due to bad weather.
To sum is all up, I had an amazing time.

So today is Monday. I was told not to come to work because it's too slow. This is getting ridiculous and scary. So What do I do?? Go to the coffee shop and buy a $4 latte. ha. Anyhow, in line for coffee this guy looks really familiar and he is staring at me too. Finally he asked if I grew up in Redlands and I said, Yeah are you Sean Regalado? He said, no, but that's my brother. WEIRD. I don't really remember him. We must have known each other from the hardcore music scene in Redlands. I definitely remember his brother though. He was my high school ceramics teacher. The last time I must have seen him was 6 years ago. And here I run into him at a coffee shop in LA after I have lived in San Francisco and New York.

love it.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

To be or not to be...

Should I continue making this a once upon a time fashion blog, or use it to update my friends and family on my life.....?

In any case, life is great. I am enjoying work. I am almost always happy. I have a great group of friends. I I have been running around the Silver Lake reservoir and trying to eat healthy. The only thing I am neglecting is my cat and teaching myself Adobe Illustrator and sketching daily. I just feel like I am coming down from my constant desire to go out, so maybe now I will get to that. I was just going out nearly every night. Meeting new people, dating, but now I just want to be alone. And I love that. I am so proud of myself.