PS

By the way, the "douchey, superficial" part of my blog has nothing to do with the friend I was supposed to hang out with tonight! LOVE YOU Marissa.

xoxoxoxo

EMO

It could be pms or the 2 glasses of wine I had......But I am crying. I am throwing myself a damn pity party. I was supposed to hang out with a friend of mine tonight and it just didn't come into fruition and not the previous night either and for some reason it's getting to me. I know it's so dumb because just the other day I was rejoicing about life and feeling blessed and now I am being a big baby. I just hate living alone sometimes. My apartment feels like an asylum. No art, small, and 2 windows that face a building with some fucking tennis shoes hanging off the wire. I am sitting here tonight and I wanted to go out, just for a little bit because I do have to work early tomorrow, and it's 10:30 now, my plans fell through, and I should just go to bed. I love my friends and I have 3 very amazing girl friends that mean the world to me and it sucks not having them near by. I just get down because in LA I have met hundreds of people, yet no one really is a true friend. I want my friends near me. I want to be in love. I want to come home from work and kick off my shoes and read for a bit, then I want to hang out with someone that just gets me. I have had such a mental and emotional growth spurt this past year, but after meeting countless people and getting excited about them for about 24 hours, then realizing they are the same douchey, superficial people takes a toll in my faith in human kind.

Ugh. Sorry. I am fine. Or I will be when I get out of this pre-menstrual tipsy haze.

Just to put it out in the universe

I am not religious and I don't believe in god, but I just feel the need to express my thanks to the universe for my blessed life. Nothing in particular happened to prompt this. I am ecstatic that I finally found a primary care physician that I like. But I was just driving back from my appointment and I feel so grateful for everything I have. I have nothing to complain about in life. I am generally healthy, I make a decent living to support myself, I have beautiful and amazing friends, and the best family I could possibly imagine. It doesn't get much better than this. So whatever powers that may be, thank you thank you thank you.

Why do I insist on taxing my body like this??

It's awful. Several times a week. The long recovery.

Yeah, I am talking about exercising. I am way more motivated about running the reservoir when I am sitting on my couch looking at facebook all day, than the actual act of running. I am not even going to tell you how many times I changed my outfit before I left today. And I might even have put some blush on beforehand. But that is only to look flushed, like I actually exerted some effort. Seriously. And I wore mirrored sunglasses. To check out all the hot, shirtless, sweaty men without them knowing. I thought it was a good idea until I saw a creepy guy wearing mirrored shades and realized he was doing the exact same thing.

The only motivation for me to run fast and get home quickly is to open up those oreos I keep in the freezer and poor myself a glass of wine, meanwhile trying to push the thought out of my mind that drinking after a run means I am just breaking even....

By the way, on my ever so pensive run today I discovered the Silver Lake reservoir has an address and a mail box. Who gets the mail? Who writes to the reservoir??

Dear Silver Lake reservoir,
Can you please make yourself just a little bit smaller? So my run goes by quicker? That would be great, thanks!

Best,
Michelle

Said with teeth clenched....

I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB.

Breaking up is hard to do

Especially when it's a moronic ex-boyfriend who contacts you 10 months after you break up with a list of items he wants back that he gave to you in the relationship or otherwise to get on your feet after you broke up. Please read:

Michelle,

I hope the summer is treating you well, as well as life.

I have a list of things that I am requesting...

Most important...

1. My family's bake pans (they have been around before I was born and feel they should stay w/me. I do not care either way for the owl pan.)

2. The honey pot Chandra gave me for my birthday.

3. The shower snail Chandra gave me.

4. The matchstick lighter (it was a gift when I had cancer from Greg's family)

5. The white bowl you keep fruit in (it was my grandma's)

6. Yellow plates (4big/4small)

7. Silver pepper grinder (its an old one that I think you have)

I would also like things back that I had either before our relationship/or that we split.

1.some towels (you have a bunch of yellow and white towels that were all mine before but I or you do not need all of them)

2. The brown bedskirt (you have your parents one)

3. 2 pillows

4. The cream curtains (you have the rods and all so I feel it is a fair split)

5. Shredder

6. Boggle

7. iLuv radio

8. tea kettle

9. Mason Jars

10. water pitcher

11. 2 Knives (small black handled pairing knife and Ikea knife...both I had before)

12. Stovetop coffee maker

I think this is more than fair. From what I know the only things I have so far is the comforter cover and a set of sheets. You got the comforter, a set of sheets, all the kitchen utensils, appliances, cookwear, bakewear, storage, coffee maker, grinder, iron/holder, hamper, and lots of other knick knacks. All this little stuff adds up so I hope that what I ask for is not a big deal and we can take care of this easily and painlessly. Please be fair and thank you.

Be well, give the kittie a big kiss, and I hope she still lives a long and happy life. My prayers are with her sweet little face. Enjoy your travels, adventures, and every day.

-F

My response:
F,
You can go fuck yourself. Truly.
1. No, it was a gift exchange. nice of you to leave me the owl. chandra gave it to me idiot
2. Yes
3.No, it's $3, go buy a new one
4.Sure
5.sure
6.No, last I checked, you didn't want them
7.Sure

1. split towels 50/50
2. unless you have a bed that size, i am keeping the skirt
3.I use all the pillows. I have grown quite attached to them
3. sure
4. sure
5. sure
6. whatever, maybe i will give you some money for it
7. um, no it was a gift to me from you. thanks
8. sure
9.No, go buy some more at the container store
10. not even sure i have the water pitcher. i bought a new one a while ago
11. knives.. fine
12. sure

Then I changed my mind and sent him another message saying he could have the paper shredder and his grandma's bowl. The other stuff is null and void. It's what happens when you break up with someone. You win some you lose some. This letter is coming from the same man who cheated on me 4 times, lied to me through out the entire 2 year relationship and wanted to return a bed spread to the store that had my period blood on it because he didn't want to spend money on a new one. Tacky, lame son of a bitch. get real.

Stubborn

I always think I can do everything myself. I don't need anyone's help. Well, the verdict after trying to re-caulk my bathtub on my own...This is fucking gay.